A witless ramble fit for a fool

Are we just going to stand by and let Israel tear the Gaza Strip into bits and pieces? And for what?

To all those people out there who are not yet cynical about world politics, let me give you the blunt truth. Yes, the fight between the two sides have been going on for a long time. Yes, this fight is likely to never end under the so-called cease-fire truce. But that's not what this attack is about. Israel is not doing it to stamp out terror, despite what George W Bush said. They're not doing it for more territory or to get rid of Hamas or whatever of a hundred reasons people can think of to justify this attack. They're killing hundreds of innocent civilians for the sake of an election. That's right. A bloody election (no puns intended).

Ehud Barak, the Defence Minister, has been falling behind the polls lately in his bid for Prime Minister. So what does he do? Launch an airstrike on the Gaza Strip. Surprise, surprise, just three days afterwards, his figures in the poll have risen. Now, political commentators project that his chances of getting the top job is good as long as the Gaza campaign turns out well.

Just a few hours ago, Israel has rolled tanks into the Gaza strip. And what is the rest of the world doing? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Just because the Prime Minister of UK says, "please cease fire" doesn't mean it's going to work. Not to be outdone, George W Bush even rejected calls for a cease-fire because in his words, that would allow the Islamists to to continue hitting Israel with rockets.

But then again, Bush has always been the type to not do anything unless there's something for him to gain. Just think back to a couple of weeks to when the relationship between India and Pakistan was getting sour. When Pakistan starts moving troops to her Indian border, ready for assault if need to, the US didn't even bat an eyelid. It wasn't until later when it was learnt that the troops were being moved from Pakistan's border with Afghanistan did Bush try to calm the situation down.

I don't know why but this whole situation really infuriates me. I'm not choosing sides as both sides have something wrong with them. But that's not what this whole thing is about. It's about those civilians out there whose deaths are just contributing to a statistics that news anchors read out at 6pm each night. So for the sake of those civilians out there, just stop the fighting, please?

*Rub hand over eyes* I'm currently plowing my way through that book by Nora Roberts. I haven't finished but I can already tell this is going to be my most hated book of hers. While Roberts is undoubtedly my favourite author of all times, I've felt nothing but disgust and annoyance combined with the feeling that I will be more than glad to get rid of this book once I'm finished with it. Then again, perhaps the fact that she could invoke such emotions out of me makes her an even greater author. Those who have read Nora Roberts' novels would acknowledge the fact that she writes a lot of weak women (in my mind) who would let their cheating beating ex-husband take a large chunk of settlement without batting an eyelid, who would refuse to go to the police even when they were beaten to within an inch of their life. I know there are women like that out there and they have their reasons. But hell, if it was me, I would have fought back and settle down for a long and ugly divorce. But I would like to think of it as being strong and standing up for myself rather than vindictive. Oh well, whatever.

"Public Secrets" (don't worry, I'm not going to spoil it) is even worse (by a multiple of several hundred, I think) than "The Fall of  Devin MacKade" or "Suzanna's Surrender." Because for the rest, I could squeeze out that ounce of annoyance I feel and still enjoy the book, reminding myself constantly it's just a book. But with this, it sort of just continued building until halfway through, I got so mad I couldn't bother reading it anymore, so I'm currently flipping through the pages, trying to get to the end ASAP, something that hasn't happened before.

If you don't know what I mean, pick up a copy of it yourself.
 

For the last few days, I've been bored and close to breaking point. I wanted to write something but nothing was coming out of my head. Even my dodgy half-started story on fictionpress wasn't prodding me to start writing again. But now it's back! This time, I'm going to learn from my previous mistakes and actually plan this story out. But yes, the muse is back.

And that's a wonderful feeling.

My exams finished last Tuesday so it's almost been an entire week of holidays for me. It feels so good :D The luxury of getting up early not because of lectures but because I want to take advantage of off-peak broadband. The choice of deciding which show to watch on television every day and night. The ability to multitask between browsing the web and playing my nintendoDS. Ah, heaven....

Lol, on a more serious note, I am planning on tackling stuff this holidays. Picking up writing again is definitely somewhere on that list. So is relearning chinese, which I've totally abandoned since grade 3 *cough in embarrassment*. There's also the stuff I didn't really understand this year that I need to learn. Plenty of stuff. I'll get started - tomorrow...

I'm over the hump. Three down. Two more exams to go. I will get to the end. Just try and stop me. *Warrior battlecry*

Listening to Obama's speech while consistently crying, sniffling and hastily wiping tears away, I couldn't help feeling that it was really history in the making. Sure, maybe it's a long way up hill towards recovery, but we have definitely taken a step in the right direction. In the midst of war, terror and the biggest financial crisis in history, America is no longer divided. The voices of millions of Americans have been heard and here's the proof that the American dream, which for so long have appeared to have died, is still well trully alive. There really isn't any point in me saying it but what the heck,

God bless America!

Sorry but I just have to post this. Seconds ago, McCain gave his concession speech and Obama has been elected as the 44th President of the United States. Wow, I am so happy right now that words cannot describe how I am feeling. For so long, I have feared that Americans may, at the last minute, make a bad judgement but no, common sense prevailed and yes, we can! Here's to hoping for a better future for both the US and the world!

However, while watching McCain give his concession speech, I couldn't help but feel sorry for him. Now, I am ecstatic that Obama has won, no questions about that, but at the same time, I felt sorry for McCain. If it wasn't for his choice of Palin as VP, I may not have felt so much negative feelings towards McCain. If he had chosen somebody else - anybody else - like Ron Paul or Mitt Romney, maybe the whole situation would have played out differently. But alas, that's all water under the bridge now.

Back to the celebrating happy feelings!

Go Obama!!!!!

Wah, why oh why did the US put election day right before my finals? So here I am, currently glued to the computer and TV, looking to see who wins, while trying to memorise the steps of glycolysis... Oh well, I'm loving every minute of it. Please, please, please, let common sense intervene so that Obama will win. I honestly don't think I can stand the sight of Palin as VP for the next 4 years. And God forbid she come back in 2012 to run for president. That would just be madness.

Oh well, back to glycolysis (so, fructose 1, 6-bisphosphate huh...)

For some strange bizarre reason, instead of focusing on my finals and studying like there's no tomorrow (which is what I should be doing), I am finding time to read novels. Not even enlightening, meaningful novels but teenage empty-brained novels. Even stranger, I'm not even focusing on one novel at a time. I've been alternatively reading Twilight and the Mediator series (which I think everybody's gathered by now) and is it just me or is there a lot (repeat: a LOT) of parallels between the two books.

Firstly, in both books, the main character has been uprooted from somewhere she's called home to another place because her mother has remarried. To be more exact, she's moved just to make her mother happy even when she's quite miserable at first.

Secondly, the main female character is someone who has never been asked out on a date in her hometown, never been kissed and generally invisible to guys and suddenly, in the new place, she has hordes of guys chasing after her. And of all the people to fall for, she falls for the one that's not human.

Thirdly, the love-struck couple wants to be together but the guy always feels like he shouldn't be with her for her sake but no matter what, he couldn't drag himself away (then again, this happens in most books) and against all odds, they manage to find a happy ending where they both became the same species/group/thing.

Okay, once I've written all these down, it doesn't seem like that big of a parallel. But when I was reading both books at the same time, it was really out there in your face. Especially since romance books, despite following the same plot line of love-conquers-all, don't usually share an identical context.

Parallels aside, I don't really understand why the Twilight series is so popular. Sure, I can see how the book appeals to teenage girls but 50 pages into the first book and the couple has already professed their love to each other. The guy, albeit being hot, dark and utterly caring, is a creepy stalker who comes into her room every night. I admit that even I go a bit googoo-gaga over Edward but it doesn't erase the fact that he's a stalker. And the whole leaning close and sniffing each other's scent sounds really fluffy in the book but as you can see here, it just sounds creepy. Again, I must stress the point that I enjoyed reading the book and can see why it's so popular but at the same time, I can see why it's received a lot of negative reviews (like this one).

Meh, back to procrastination.

"The more sophisticated our society becomes and the more it pays homage to intellect and powers of reasoning the more ill at ease it is with death and that which lies beyond. Sometimes those who wield the greatest power and possess the greatest wealth are those who fare worst for here, finally, is something which neither money nor position can win back - life itself."

Freedom! That’s the first thing I can think of when I sat down to write this post. The last two weeks have just been… hellish, to be honest. Last week, I had a 2,500 words assignment to write and for the first time ever, I actually had problem reaching the word limit whereas before, it was always “oh, okay” cut, “oh, again?” cut and “no, please don’t make me do this” cut. Yesterday, I had a mid-semester exam that covered week 1 to 7 so that was a lot of cramming to do over the weekend. The exam seriously made me reconsider my study skills. If I could catch up an entire week worth of lectures (relistening to them while taking notes) in one day when I really tried (I even managed to do one lecture while on the train), how on earth did I fall behind? So I guess I’m now sort of determined not to fall behind. I’ll let you know how this determination’s working out.

I’m now loaded down with heaps of pracs, some of which are actually quite exciting. Tomorrow, for example, we’ll get to actually dissect the cadavers (whereas before, we only got to see instructors do them) and since we’re learing about NDM (Nutrition, Digestion, Metabolism) this semester, it’s all about the abdoment and GIT (gastrointestinal tract). Not sure how it’ll go but should be an interesting experience. A pity I have lunch right before it, huh.

Hm.. I can’t remember if I told you guys already but my parents “permanently” (that’s what they said about Brisbane AND Glasgow so hmm… I don’t really believe them) relocated to Melbourne to look after me/overfeed me. Well, now that I’ve moved to an Eastern suburb, I catch the train every single day, which is surprisingly an amusing experience. As my friends already noted, I’ve compared my experience in the train as an emperor penguin, chicken and sardines. The first was because I noted how when passengers all get crammed in the train, we were like emperor penguins ruthlessly guarding our territory against invasion by other fellow penguins. The chicken was on those bad days when we all just cram in like chickens waiting to be slaughtered. On a really really really bad day, we were like sardines I know, I’m sad but seriously, when I have no moving or breathing space on the train with nothing to do for thirty minutes, my mind does wander quite far.

Another thing I’ve noticed is that I always always get picked on by the ticket inspectors in Melbourne Central. The first time kind of took my by surprise because I thought why on earth would they bother checking in the city, you kind of need a ticket to get out of the station. But an inspector asked to see my concession card. I was bewildered, how on earth did he know I even had a concession ticket?! Nevertheless, I faithfully produced my card and left. Next day, same thing happened. Out of the last two weeks, I’ve been picked 6 times all at ~7:40am. I’ve noticed that if I exited during peak hour (8:30am) they don’t really bother but before 8, they always check. Maybe I’m paranoid or something, but they never bother asking all those other fellow passengers. I’ve got 3 theories going on right now. A) I dress like a poor uni student, b) I look immature or c) I have a guilty face on whenever I see them. Whatever it is, I am now carrying my concession card around like a shield against them. I’ve got 2 options right now. Hopefully, eventually ALL the inspectors would have picked on me and eventually recognises me so that they would stop or I will just have to resign myself to getting asked for the next five years. Fun.

Moving on to the US election, I feel America is doomed. Latest polls show McCain is actually in front. Yes, him, the old bald guy who should get adopted by the Bush family with his bear-killing teenager-pregnancy-promoting VP candidate are actually leading the polls (albeit only by a small margin). Why?! What could people possibly see in him and his foreign policies about wars not to mention those environmental policies about oil drilling. I still can’t believe Palin refuses to acknowledge polar bears are an endangered species just so she can drill for oil in Alaskan reserves. As much as the argument about anti-abortion is valid, I think it’s up to the woman herself. Not allowing abortion is pretty much telling those victims of rape and incest that it’s all your fault so suck it up. And do we really need to promote teenager pregnancy in this world? As one guy on mX adequately said, leave those caribous alone and go shoot that bugger that knocked your daughter up. What on earth are they promoting anyway? Grrrr, if they end up winning, the world is going to be doomed.

What else? Oooh, watched the paralympics opening ceremony on the weekend and oh my goodness, it was so touching. Any of you guys see the lighting of the torch? All through it, I just sat there, absolutely astounded he could perform such a feat. It just goes to prove we are all equals and if you believed, you can achieve what you want.

Today is September the eleventh and it still doesn’t look the war on terror is going to end any time soon. The following is the chorus to the song “Pray” by Tina Cousins. I think it’s very relevant to the current state of the world:

Pray for good and pray for love
Pray for peace and pray it’s enough
Pray for salvation; Pray that we’re right
Pray one day we’ll open our eyes, and
Pray for them and Pray for us
Pray one day we can live as one
Pray for the children whose time is to come
Just pray they forgive us for the
Stupid things we’ve done

On that sad note, I’ll say goodbye.

Until next time,

Yuan

Disclaimer: The lyrics do not belong to me so please don’t sue.

Last Friday, a friend of mine and I went to watch the Dark Knight together. That was a big mistake since I can't stand any scary movies (and my definition of scary is way below the scary-meter compared to normal people's) and apparently, neither could she. So there we were, the two of us, huddling against each other and covering our eyes half the time but thankfully, we made it through the film in one physical piece. As for our mind, well.... 

Looking back on it, I can't find a single word to describe the film. Maybe if I watched it a second, a third or maybe even a fourth time, I might be able to come up with something. I can't say the movie was good because "good" was definitely not the word on my mind when I stepped out of the theatre yet at the same time, the movie was definitely not bad because... it wasn't. I don't know... I think I'm still emotionally drained.

On the topic of Olympics, I have to say I am absolutely disgusted over the opening song fiasco. I can understand why they had to digitally put in the fireworks (with the smog and no-fly zone rules) but the song was absolutely unacceptable. So what if Lin Miaoke was cuter than Yang Peiying, this type of thing just should not happen. We are pretty much saying to the future generation, all you need to do to be successful is to be pretty. Doesn’t matter if you can’t sing, as long as you’re pretty, you get to be on the cover of that CD or perform the song. Doesn’t matter if you can’t do maths or science, you’re pretty so we’ll give you a degree anyway. Doesn’t matter if you can’t actually do surgery, we just need you there to be pretty. Okay, maybe I’m going over the top, but you get my point. And the worst thing is, I don’t get how, in a country with over 1 billion people, they couldn’t find a little girl who is both cute and can sing. It’s not about the time restraints or the pressure of having to project the perfect image, they just didn’t look hard enough. So save your excuses.

Turning 18 on the first of August is meant to be a big event for me. After all, I'll finally be classified as an adult. I'm kind of meeting it with mixed feelings though. On the one hand, I don't want to grow up because... well, it's just one more step closer towards death. On the other hand, I'm sick and tired of my age being the restricting factor to everything I do. Today, I tried to apply for an apartment and before I even handed in my application, they turned me down and said, "sorry, get your parents to sign it." All because I'm only a few days away from turning 18.

So how am I spending the last few days of my teenage life?

Stressing out.

My contract at the shared house where I'm currently staying is terminating at the end of this month. This place is great for university because it's close, cheap and low-maintenance. I don't really need anything bigger because my parents are on the other side of the world. But now that they're coming down to live with me, I need to find a new place. At first, they said they'll come down at the middle of this month so I was not to worry because they'll take care of everything. Well, it's the middle of this month and apparently, their plans got delayed so they'll coming down next month. Great, that does not exactly solve my housing problems. So I've been looking at apartments lately and put simply, they all suck. We've gathered a lot of stuff over the past 10 years and thus, we need a fairly large apartment to fit them all in. Today, I've found an okay-ish apartment that might just do. It's not the best but hey, it's not bad either. Yet I can't sign the application form because I'm not yet 18. Gargh (sound of me sounding frustrated)! So I've now sent the application form to my parents hoping they'll be able to complete it in time. Oh, did I mention my dad, instead of packing up and planning to come down as he promised he would, is going to a conference in Canada? Considerate, isn't he?

Housing troubles aside, I really don't want to grow up. Having grown up believing that this is it, that there's nothing after death, I don't really want to enter a new phase of my life. I enjoy being a child and let's face it, being underaged lets kids get away with plenty of stuff. I just don't want to ... leave another big chunk of my life behind, I suppose.

Ah well, life goes on....
 

I just found out Nadal had won the Wimbledon. *sigh* I'm so depressed right now I don't even want to type this post. Admittedly, breaking history is always next to impossible and the chances of Roger Federer doing so is slightly higher than that but still next to impossible. But oh, I wish it was anybody but Nadal. Okay, I dislike Nadal for no good reason but oh, just seeing him holding that cup grates my nerves. It's especially depressing considering he is a world champion, earning buckets of money while I'm just a university student who's slightly luckier than most other students because I live on a scholarship rather than on a part-time job. Oh well, maybe there's still hope for the US Open.

While we're on the topic of depressing topics, I broke my glasses last Friday. It was so stupid. I've only got the glasses last December and I rarely if never uses them. I've been short-sighted since... well, probably eighth grade but my parents were firmly in ther denial stage. Their belief is that if they ignored my problem for long enough, my eyes will magically heal by themselves. By grade twelve (last year), my eyes were so bad that I couldn't see the white board from the front row and had to get my notes from my friends. So after graduation, I finally successfully convinced them that I won't be able to survive through uni without glasses. So they finally went and got me a pair and last Saturday, I stepped on them. That's right, for some bizarre reason, my glasses were out of their case and I stepped on them. Argh! It's so frustrating. I hate wearing glasses and I never uses them since I'm so used to being short-sighted that I can cope. But not having them is like having the safety net whipped from underneath me. Luckily, I only snapped the frames - the lenses were still intact. So the next day, I went immediatley to a store. Luckily, it's the same company as the shop I got my glasses from in Brisbane and luckily, they had a frame the same size and luckily, it was still on half-price. So that was another $130 down the drain. Oh man, I managed to not spend any cash throughout the week and then, I spent $200 in one day (I had some other expenses).

Hope the next week goes slightly better.

Tennis, pretty much the only sport I actually cared about. Wimbledon 2008 is already well under way and things seem business as usual. On the men's side, you have Roger Federer being "I can do no wrong" and on the ladies' side, you have a scrambled mess that is just plain wrong. I don't even have a favourite anymore because there's no point, one day, she'll be winning her way up to the top and the next moment, she's just tumbled out of the first round. Oh man, somebody better hurry up and come soon. *sigh* At least I can always count on Roger. His defeat at the Australian Open this year was definitely a shock and already, people are talking about whether this is the end of him. Well, it's not, at least not in my opinion. I believe the only reason everybody is making such a big fuss is because of his amazing run at the grand slams. Getting consecutive three grand slams a year is a feat that is hard to keep up and the longer he kept on winning, the bigger the fall is going to be when it eventually and inevitably comes. I mean, he's getting no younger and younger players are just going to keep on coming up. 

But I'll tell you who is not going to keep up - Lleton Hewitt. As much as I'm an Aussie and support all Aussie players, I just absolutely hate him and his oncourt antics. His ego is enormous and his temper just plain pisses me off. Him breaking up with Kim Clijster, immediate engagement to Cartwright (somebody else I can't stand) and her very VERy early pregnancy certainly didn't help (since she was my former faovurite player). Every time he bombs out of a match, he always says, yeah, I can definitely come back into the top 10. Get real. Your playing days are dying. Admit it to yourself and maybe you'll be a little less arrogant.

Another player I absolutely without a doubt hate: Maria Sharapova. She stands for everything that is wrong about tennis. The glamour girl of tennis is turning the respectable sport into a runway. She wins her battles not through sport but through her excessive grunting and her overbearing interfering father of a trainer. While on the note of ladies tennis, I've noted Zheng Jie's fairy tale run at the Wimbledon's. It's simply amazing because seriously, Chinese players just don't do well at tennis. And naturally, despite me being a supporter, I don't expect her to win against Serena Williams. but then again, that's pretty much what everybody said when she went up against Ivanovic and all those other palyers so who knows? Despite that, I still have my doubts.

Turning to US politics (even though I'm an Aussie), I'm somewhat disappointed over the lack of excitement. While I am elated that Clinton finally FINALLY stepped down, there's nothing much going on anymore. The only thing exciting seems to be this debate about "patriotism". Anyway, go Obama! He totally deserves to win. Another 4 years under the Republic & McCain is just going to be plain hell.

Cheers,

Witlessfool

Just wrote a post (well, it's more of a rant really) on fpdebate. Basically, it's my hatred towards authors' obsession with reviews and word counts. It seems ridiculous to people who don't visit fictionpress that often but trust me, being a long-term addict, I can assure you how annoying it is. You can find the post on this link:

http://community.livejournal.com/fpdebate/34482.html

Okay, it's probably not a good idea writing about this week when I haven't even recounted Orientation Week yet but hey, what can I say, I'm weird. Besides, the most current events are the freshest in my mind right now and I want to write (read: type) them down as quickly as possible before I have to go to bed in order to wake up tomorrow at 6AM (yes, you read that correctly). The 8AM lectures really kills because I have to get up uber early and generally be tired and cranky throughout the day. Hopefully, I'll get use to it soon.

Well, the first week of university is ... okay. That's the most neutral word I can think of. Since I've done biology before, most of this stuff is just a revision of what I already know, which does make the lectures somewhat sleep-worthy. But despite that, the professor is very good (I'm not trying to suck up to him or anything) and actually keeps the lectures entertaining and interesting enough that I don't fall asleep - an amazing feat considering I snoozed my way through year 12 last year. So I've been concentrating more on getting to know the people around me and trying to find out if there's anything else to the uni life apart from lectures and studying.

As I've discovered - not much.

Or maybe that's just for the medical students and that would make us a very boring lot. We are either waiting outside the lectures uber early and chatting nervously (mostly about "what are you studying?" and "how are you finding the course?") or visiting the library and looking up stuff we haven't even learnt yet. *sigh* I feel like such a slacker. The people around me are all studying and I think generally deriving joy out of the library books whereas I would sit in the library, feeling incredibly bored and out of place and sometimes, annoying the people around me because I'm distracting them from their studying with my non-stop chatter. Today was slightly out of the norm, I ended up having a coffee break with a friend and despite the fact that we were still discussing med study, we were in a more casual atmosphere and it was better than the stuffy library.

But a really good thing was I went to the Political Interest Society (PIS) meeting. It was awesome finally getting the opportunity to rant and argue about politics with people who either agree or disagree with you. I think my usual friends are relieved too because this means I don't have to rant at them about the US elections and what not. We were, or at least I was, having a blast, especially because Texas and Ohio, amongst other states, are holding their primaries today and we were constantly having updates during the meeting. And since my ICM (which follows straight after the meeting) was cancelled today, I followed them down to Prince Albert (a pub) and though I didn't drink, since I can't and don't want to, it was awesome just hanging out and meeting all these different people, which I think is especially important for me as a med student because I am always hanging out with other med students due to our structured course. This was an opportunity to hang around people from different backgrounds, areas of study and political backgrounds. I loved it to bits. Unfortunately, for the rest of the semester, I still have ICMs but I'll probably join them after my tutorial.

Oh, and the thing that prompted me to post today was the fact that I've been accepted as one of the First Year blogger for the uni blog. Though I was probably accepted not because they want me but rather because they didn't have many applications for the role, I'm still excited and can't wait to rant there too (in addition to here). Hopefully, it will be a more lively community there (not saying that this place isn't, of course :P)

Till next time!

Again, I'm berating myself for not posting regularly enough but then again, I've had the excuse of a very long and often tiring month. It's been hard, moving out of home to a whole new place, trying to get everything done by myself and on top of the normal daily to-dos, I had to cook something edible three times a day. 

The plane ride here was okay. I thoroughly enjoyed flying with entertainment and food provided 24/7. I suppose the enjoyment of the flight only made the harsh reality of living by myself all the more traumatic. As soon as I landed in Melbourne, got through the terminals, grabbed a taxi and arrived at the place I'll call home for the next 6 months, my first shock was this: I received a letter from the Department of Transport Infringements (or whatever they call themselves) saying that apparently, I was caught without a ticket on December 1 and since then, failed to pay the fine and thus, now I had to pay close to $200.00 in penalty. My first reaction was shock. Firstly, I was in Glasgow on December 1, secondly, they had my name backwards, thirdly, the birth date was all wrong and fourthly, I wasn't even living at this place during that period. Hell, I didn't even know I was going to live here till early February. So what on earth was going on. That, my friend, was the start of the tumble down from the paradise in my mind and into the hell of reality.

I had to then put myself through grocery shopping and eventually, when I wound my way back home, head still swirling around with the news that somehow, I have to wade my way through this mess that somebody else created for me. Went home, zonked out till the next day and it was back to square one. For the first couple of days, everything was a complete nightmare and it seemed nothing was going right: I screwed up my ID photo, my bank card got declined at the local super market, my cash was running low, I can't cook and had just got sunburnt from walking around Melbourne for 6 hours that day. I would burst into tears at random moments on the streets and thought I was a complete failure. Hell, I burst into tears in front of one of my housemates and probably scared the living daylights out of him.

But after a long and teary conversation with my parents on the phone, who repeatedly told me to relax, buy something nice to eat and don't worry about too much, I slowly got my act together. The first thing was naturally food. You would be amazed at how much brighter the situation seems to be after a decent hot meal (even if it is completely unhealthy like McDonalds). Slowly, one step at a time, I got things done and by the end of the week was happy to have ticked off most of the tasks that I had to do before university starts. There was a lot of running around and I felt tired most of the time but the satisfaction of knowing that I got all these things done by myself was unbelievable.

Now that things are getting better, I'm enjoying the independent life, which sounds really bad cause it seems as if I don't miss my parents. In some ways, I do. But in others, I'm glad of the freedom I'm experiencing. No matter what, I know tomorrow is just waiitng for my smile.

Goodness, it's been a month since my last post. This journal idea is turning out to be like so many other things that I've attempted before - a failure. But nevertheless, I'm determined to keep going until I say stop, which may be sooner than I think but that will come when it comes. The main thing that motivates me with this is that, it's my journal so years later, I can look back at this time and remember stuff. So yeah, I guess I want to keep on going.

Well, a lot of stuff has happened since my last post, which I panicked and ranted for a very very long time, I've managed to get through all the university offers, scholarship offers, enrollment process, travel arrangement and living accommodation is finally over and done with. Finally! I am now set to fly down to Melbourne to commence a bachelor of medicine/surgery/medical science at the University of Melbourne. Am I satisfied? Yeah, I've done a good job in my final year of school and managed to score the Melbourne National Medicine Scholarship. Do I have any regrets? Some. I also got a National Undergraduate Scholarship offer from ANU for bachelor of law/economics, which was what I wanted to do but my parents leaped at the chance Melbourne offered and so I'm going to do medicine. Law was an obsession of mine, I guess. It was a combination of my own interest and my parents' obsession for me to do medicine, which I'm not very interested in. Now that I've given it up, I don't know what to feel. It's hard but my parents are adamant that I've made the right choice. I guess time will tell.

The scholarship offers were a surprise. I don't want to sound smug or arrogant or anything because I didn't expect them at all. Being overseas was hard, meaning I only received the news via email but they did their job. ANU's offer arrived on Christmas day so it was happy times. I was trying to convince my mother to check her email because I had sent her an e-card (apparently, I typed in the wrong address so she never got it...) and when she opened her inbox, there it was, a scholarship offer. We were deliriously happy for about a week or so. After the Cambridge rejection letter came (trust me, I expected it), I was all settled and happy to go to ANU to study law but alas, I checked my email and there it was, the Melbourne scholarship offer. It topped ANU's offer in the fact that it waived my HECS fees. My parents were deliriously happy again whereas I sort of had mixed-feelings. I mean, sure, I was honored to get the offer, considering how many geniuses are out there, but not sure if i want to take it up. But in the end, it was decided, I'll go to Melbourne.

University offers and the enrollment process was a nightmare. Because I'm in Glasgow and all the stuff is sent to a designated postal address in Brisbane, I don't have access to the information I needed to enroll. The deadline was looming and I still haven't received a word from Australia about the enrollment pack. In the end, I got fed up chewing my nails worrying sick over the enrollment process so I called the University and asked for them. The staff was really friendly and gave me the information after a few questions over my identity. I got panicky over the postcode question cause which one do I say? The one I've lived in last year or the one for my postal address? In the end, I said both and blabbed on about why and but she was so nice, she just brushed it aside and gave me the stuff I needed. So in the end, I enrolled. *phew*

Planning the flight back was another hurdle I had to jump over. I left it too left. By the time my mother dragged me down to Flight Center and Star Travel, there was barely any seats left for the time period in which I wanted to travel. We got an internet quote of just under 600 pounds but when we asked about those, it turned out they were already sold out. Fortunately, we ended up finding one from Flight Center that arrived in Melbourne a week before the Academic Advice Day (the second one, since I got special consideration to miss the first one because I was overseas) and it was just a little bit over 600 pounds. Not bad, huh?

Finding accommodation was an entirely different matter. Being overseas means that I could only contact them (those that listed an email address) via email. I sent out over 20 queries and the couple that were kind enough to reply either said the room was already taken or they were conducting interviews (which I obviously couldn't attend). When I did end up finding a decent spot, she ended up renting the room out to another girl so it was back to square one. I eventually managed to track down one in a suburb that was a bit too far away from the university but close enough to be sufficient. The price was reasonable and I desperately needed a place to stay. In the end, I phoned him and at first, he wasn't keen to reserve the room for me until the 13th but after we discovered we were both Chinese and after a conversation with my mother, he agreed. Yes!

So I guess now (after this long blow-by-blow of what happened last month), I'm anxiously waiting for the 11th of February where I'll be going to a strange new place ready for the next chapter of my life. Nervous? Hell yeah.